The Stupid News with Yankee Pete
A PREMATURE BABY WAS PRONOUNCED *DEAD* FOR SIX HOURS . . . UNTIL IT SUDDENLY CAME BACK TO LIFE
This is one of the craziest things I've heard in a while. Seriously . . . this is insane.
On Sunday, 26-year-old Faiza Majdub from Western Galilee, Israel, and her husband, Ali, rushed to the hospital after Faiza complained of severe pain. Faiza was 23-weeks pregnant . . . so the couple didn't want to take any chances with her health.
Anyway, when they got to the hospital, doctors realized that Faiza was bleeding internally . . . and that her baby was stillborn.
So doctors aborted the ONE pound, FIVE ounce baby girl . . . and placed her inside a refrigeration unit until she could be buried.
But several hours later, when Faiza and Ali went to take one last look at their baby before laying her to rest . . . they noticed she WAS BREATHING.
Doctors rushed the baby girl to the Intensive Care Unit . . . where they're trying to save her life. (Jerusalem Post / Ha'aretz)
AN 85-YEAR-OLD WOMAN CAUGHT A TEEN TRYING TO ROB HER HOUSE . . . SO SHE HELD A GUN ON HIM AND MADE HIM CALL THE COPS
I LOVE when young punks try to prey on the elderly . . . only have to the tables turned on them by some feisty old-timer.
For example, on Sunday night, 85-year-old Leda Smith of Lake Lynn, Pennsylvania, heard a noise inside her house.
So Leda got up to investigate . . . and found a 17-year-old trying to rob her.
According to Leda, "I had the gun on him before he turned around and I said, 'You've had it'."
That's right . . . Leda, this sweet 85-year-old great-grandmother, was packing heat.
Leda told the kid to pick up the phone and dial 911 . . . and "if you try to throw the phone at me or do anything bad, I'll just shoot you."
When the cops arrived, they arrested the kid and an unnamed accomplice outside the house. (WPXI News 11 - Pittsburgh)
WONDERBRA HAS RELEASED A NEW LINE OF UNDERWEAR . . . WITH QUICK-RELEASE CLASPS
Guys . . . have you ever been in the middle of a serious make-out session . . . and you couldn't get your lady's bra undone? It's totally humiliating . . . but it's happened to the best of us.
But now, the amazingly brilliant people over at Wonderbra have announced that on September 23rd, they'll be releasing a new, limited-edition line of lingerie . . . which addresses just that problem.
Apparently, the new line . . . called Wonderbra by DITA VON TEESE . . . will feature bras and panties with quick-release magnetic clasps for easier underwear removal. (NewsOfTheWorld)
THE BRITISH INTELLIGENCE AGENCY, MI5, IS TRYING TO RECRUIT MORE GAY AGENTS
Recently, British officials announced that they'd hired gay lobbyists . . . to help them recruit more homosexual agents into MI5.
According to the British government, there are TWO reasons they're reaching out to the gay community:
#1.) MI5 is trying to increase their diversity by recruiting agents from a broader cross-section of society.
#2.) Since the London terrorist bombings in July of 2005, MI5 has been trying to hire and train hundreds of new agents . . . and they need as many able-bodied people as they can get. (Financial Times)
THERE'S A RARE, 5-FOOT FLOWER THAT LOOKS LIKE, PERHAPS, SOMETHING ELSE
Have you ever heard of the amorphophallus titanum flower? Probably not, right? Well, allow me to fill you in . . .
The amorphophallus titanum is an extremely rare flower that can grow nearly SIX-feet tall. It blooms at completely unpredictable times . . . and the bloom only lasts for about THREE days.
It might look like something else…some people see it…some people don’t. (Yahoo Xtra Entertainment)
ONE IN FIVE MEDICAL WORKERS BELIEVE IN DIVINE INTERVENTION
If you're sick, you probably want to be under the care of a doctor who has the utmost faith in medical science.
But get this: According to a recent survey, ONE in FIVE doctors and other medical workers believe a hopeless medical diagnosis can be reversed . . . by divine intervention. (ABC News)
A KID NAMED "WRIGLEY FIELDS" WILL THROW THE FIRST PITCH AT A CHICAGO CUBS GAME
On August 29th, a 7-year-old boy from Lockport, Illinois, will throw out the first pitch at a Chicago Cubs home game against the Philadelphia Phillies.
So how did this little kid luck into such a sweet deal? Well, he comes from a long line of Cubs fans . . . and his name is "Wrigley Fields". Seriously. (Chicago Tribune)
SINGLE MEN OF AUSTRALIAN MINING TOWN SEEKING “BEAUTY DISADVANTAGED” WOMEN
The mayor of a male-heavy mining town in Australia created uproar among local women over the weekend by inviting "beauty-disadvantaged" women to join the population of lonely men.
Mayor John Molony found himself under attack Monday over comments he made to a local newspaper that read: "May I suggest if there are five blokes to every girl, we should find out where there are beauty-disadvantaged women and ask them to proceed to Mount Isa."
The mayor added that many women who already live in the remote Queensland state town seem quite happy.
"Quite often you will see walking down the street a lass who is not so attractive with a wide smile on her face," he continued. "Whether it is recollection of something previous or anticipation for the next evening, there is a degree of happiness."
The quotes, published Saturday in the Townsville Bulletin, sparked outrage among the town's female population, led to furious online debates and drew criticism from the local chamber of commerce.
"There's a lot of anger circulating among the community at the moment — a lot of passionate anger," Mount Isa Chamber of Commerce manager Patricia O'Callaghan said Monday. "There's a lot of women voicing their opinions."
Molony declined to elaborate on his comments Monday except to say they were "twisted and warped" by the newspaper.
"I've been shredded," he added, before hanging up the phone.
The situation may not be quite as dire as Molony noted. According to the 2006 census, males made up 52.6 percent of the town's population of nearly 20,000.
Local women, enraged by the mayor's comments, protested Monday, saying there aren't a lot of gems to be found among Mount Isa's men, either.
"We want an apology," local woman Rikki Loccisano told the Brisbane Times. (FoxNews.com/AP)
ISRAELI TURTLE GETS SKATEBOARD TO REPLACE LEGS
Arava the disabled turtle is using her new set of wheels to get around in more ways than one.
Officials at the Jerusalem Biblical Zoo say the 10-year-old spurred tortoise has begun mating since being fitted with a custom skateboard to overcome paralysis of her hind legs.
The 55-pound turtle is unable to move herself forward with her front legs alone. So the zoo's staff built her a metal board with two wheels that can be strapped to her stomach.
Arava arrived in Jerusalem a few months ago from a petting zoo in southern Israel with the unexplained handicap, and found no reptile romance.
Zoo curator Shmulik Yedvad says it's not that Arava has come out of her shell with her unique new wheelchair, but that a particularly amorous 10-year-old male has been after her. (FoxNews.com)
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